


You Will Never Know

by ToDryHerEyes



Series: Do You Wanna Know? (Stendy) [2]
Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, F/M, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm bad at this, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Internal Monologue, One Shot, POV Male Character, Sequel, Teenagers, What Was I Thinking?, something happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:34:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23693206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToDryHerEyes/pseuds/ToDryHerEyes
Summary: *Part 2 of The Moment I Knew*It's his longtime girlfriend's Sweet 16 tonight and he's getting ready, but an unexpected trip back from the floral shop in Denver results in Stan staying in and questioning his worth.
Relationships: Stan Marsh/Wendy Testaburger
Series: Do You Wanna Know? (Stendy) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1709374
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	You Will Never Know

**Author's Note:**

> POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING: While I tried to make it as implicit and implied as possible, there is still a subtle mention of sexual assault in the first several paragraphs and then a subtle mention between character's dialogue. I apologize if it is triggering to those reading.
> 
> NOTICE: While it may not affect the storylines too much by only reading this one(or reading this one first), it is highly recommended you read The Moment I Knew first, then You Will Never Know.
> 
> Hey, guys. I was a little nervous writing this one due to what's implied(it's hard writing about this, so i tried keeping it as implied as possible, and I pretty much time-skipped it all), but I decided to go ahead and do it. So, I'm sure maybe a couple of you have read The Moment I Knew, a Stendy one-shot where Wendy is having her Sweet 16 and she feels lonely and ignored by her own family and friends, so she was hoping Stan would show up to at least make her feel better. This is basically the 'why' for the 'what'. It's taking place at the exact same time of the party. The Moment I Knew was written back in 2017, and was remade July of 2019, however this one is completely new(besides some ideas I came up with after publishing TMIK). Both are internal monologues filled with angst and a miscommunication between Stan and Wendy, as they are both unaware of what the other is feeling or doing at this very moment. I'm really self-concious these days about my writing, and I doubt I can achieve the same level of writing for this one as I did with TMIK, but I hope to achieve my point I've been cooking up for almost a year now. Now that the backstory's over, I'll let you get on with the story.
> 
> TLDR; Sequel to The Moment I know; Felt nervous about writing this, but I said 'fuck it!'; There's lots of emotional attachment/backstory and It's not as great as TMIK but fuck it, it's published and I have a point.

_"I'll see you tonight at six, Stan!"_

I hung up the phone, a smile creeping on my face. Sure, I could be at home, watching Terrance and Philip reruns on the Canadian channel all night long, but I'd rather spend time with my girlfriend at her Sweet 16. If anything, I'm sure she'd also rather hang out somewhere else besides that hall. Lately she has been very detached, and I know it's because of her mom's intense planning that's got her down. Her mom claims she's doing it for Wendy, but I haven't seen her name anywhere on those invitations. Wendy loves her mom, of course, so she has made up her mind and is set on keeping as much of a smile on her face as possible.

I'm planning a big surprise for her, though. God, she's going to love it; I got her a bouquet of roses, as well as a pair of earrings that she could wear tonight. Cartman said I was a loser and 'gay' for trying to buy her all these nice things, but he would never understand the hundreds of butterflies that float around in my stomach when I even hear her name, or the sounds of her sweet voice. I'm so in love with her, and she'll never understand how much she truly means to me; no one will.

As much as I can explain how happy she makes me, I'd much rather buy the flowers and get ready at home. It was probably a stupid idea to put on my tux this early despite being out still buying the gifts, but at least if I stay out too late, I'll have the outfit ready, right? It doesn't take too long to get out of Denver and back to South Park, but I'll have to take some precautions. Although I'm really enjoying an afternoon out in the city- sort of.

Anyhow, I should probably head back to the car. I left it parking out by the alley, and I got the roses, so I might as well head back to South Park. Just as I take out my keys to open up, I see a couple of teenage boys(or older) fiddling around with the locks on the car handles. "Hey- hey, what the hell's going on here? Get away from my car!"

The three boys step away from the car- but they start making their way towards me, cornering me towards the alley wall with the objects used to pick my lock. "Hey, get away from me..." I bring the bouquet of roses to my chest, clutching them as tightly as possible before they suddenly grab it and throw it to the ground. One of the guys rapidly brings his foot in contact with the bouquet, causing them to crush and for some petals to fly off. "Hey, what the fuck did you do?!" Rather than respond, the guy grabs me by the arm and throws me to the ground, causing Wendy's new earrings to fall out my jacket pocket. "Help!"

* * *

_"Hey! What are you doing?! Get away from the boy, punks!"_

What felt like hours later is when I open my eyes after attempting to zone out. After I hear the scurry of shoes, I see a pair of tennis shoes and the bottom of a cane inches from my face. "Wha-"

"Are you conscious, son?" The figure asks, bending over slowly to lightly shake my shoulder. "I think I need to bring you to a hospital."

When I hear his request, I think of the events of the past fifteen minutes that eventually led to my position on the ground. Then I remember why I was here in the first place. "N-no. I- no. I have to get to her party. No, no." I look to my right when I remember the bouquet of roses and notice them squished and destroyed. "The roses! My roses!"

"Your roses?" The man asks, looking down. "Son, I really should get you to a hospital. You could be bleeding and not-"

"My earrings!" I quickly sit up and pat my pockets for the the diamond earrings I was going to gift her tonight. Standing up, I search around the premises, only to come up hopelessly empty. "Oh, God, her earrings. She's going to hate me, she's going to hate me. Oh, God."

The worried man grasps my arm once again, locking eyes with me. "Son, please, let me call an ambulance for yo-"

"Forget about the damn fucking hospital!" I begin to pull on my hair and pace back and fourth, leading to the man to back up slowly. "I have to get home. I-I have to do something." Ignoring the old man's pleas, I rush back to my car that was surprisingly still present and rush home. 

I park into the back of my driveway and quickly unlock my front door, locking it back on my way in. I slow down when I notice my dad lying on the couch, asleep with a half-empty beer bottle resting by his hand, followed by a dozen more empty ones nearby. I sigh in relief, as he was a hard-sleeper usually, and walk up the stairs and quietly yet quickly as possible. Storming into my room, I throw my car keys onto the bed and think back to the events of earlier today. "Oh, God." _What have I done?_

The boys would have a laugh over this. "Stupid, stupid Stan." _Why didn't I fight back? What kind of a man am I?_

 _"Are those roses?!"_ My dad stormed into my bedroom, originally asking me about going to run an errand before noticing a couple of birthday roses spread about my bed. _"Wendy won't be there forever. Just like your mother wasn't. Grow up to be a strong man, Stanley,"_ Now in the kitchen, He slurred as he threw his 4th beer bottle into the trashcan as I iced my now-reddened cheek. _"Listen to me, Stan. Don't be like me."_ He grabbed another beer bottle before throwing the gifted roses in the trash.

I scrunch up my face in thought of my 16th birthday two months ago. _He was right. I'm not a man._ "Stupid, stupid Stan." 

Frustrated, I pull out my headphones, plug the jack in, and turn on my music. _What's the point?_ I couldn't even fight for my own life. I had someone else save it for me. _Might as well just jam my thoughts out._

 _"_ _I see a maze, I see a maze, I see a maze, oh-oh-oh. I break the cage, I break the cage, I break the ca-"_ Startled, I stop singing when the music stops. _What the hell?_ I realize I was getting a phone call from, _My Sunshine. Shit._

 _Do I answer? I can't. I shouldn't._ After 30 seconds or so of second-guessing myself, the call quits and I sigh in relief. _Oh well, she's better off, anyways._ I continue to jam out to the music in hopes to forget about today, ignoring the numerous texts following the sudden phone call. 

After an hour or two of exhaustion, I unplug my headphone jack and rest my head back on the dresser after obtaining a headache. _That didn't help me forget anything._ The image of being thrown down on the concrete still spins around in my memory, along with the following. I felt powerless to stop it, to stop them. 

Truth is, Wendy deserves a real man. Not someone like me. God, if she ever found out about today, she would be so mad. She would think I'm a freak. She would leave me. _Better save her the trouble._ Worn out, I curl up on the floor and shut my eyes until sleep can take me over.

* * *

I open my eyes to the carpet floor, sitting up as quickly as possible, glancing at the alarm clock above the dresser to see it was almost 1:30 AM. _Shit. I missed the whole party._ Despite taking a long nap, the flashbacks from earlier still ran themselves through my memory, haunting me with every last bit of themselves. Although it was a forbidden one, one I had promised her to never use again, I had one last method to try and forget, and hopefully it'll bring me the courage to text Wendy to tell her I'm sorry. _Man, is she going to be pissed._

After a few minutes, I watch the smoke spread through the air as relaxation fills my body. I sigh a breath of relief and rest my head back on the drawer once more. _Time to get this over with._ I pull out my phone to call her, only to see five missed calls from Kenny and eight from Kyle. And none from Wendy. I ignored their notifications and went straight to the contact lists and called her. The phone dials, and I wait impatiently for a few seconds before hearing a soft voice go, "Hello?"

"Heyy, Wendy," I start off, unprepared for whatever speech I wanted to give. "Happy birthday. Sorry I didn't make it."

I get nervous once I hear the unbearable silence between us that lasts a few seconds. She breaks it once she answers with, "I'm sorry, too." before hanging up the phone- without a goodbye. I sigh heavily, realizing what had been done. _Crap._

The next morning, I'm reaching into my locker to grab my books for class when I feel a harsh tap on my shoulder. I turn around to see my best friend, Kyle, and Kenny. _Whoops. Almost forgot._ "Oh, hey dudes."

"What the hell do you mean _hey dudes?_ Where _were_ you last night? Do you have any idea how worried and confused we were?" Kyle interrogates, causing Kenny to place his hand over his chest to restrict him.

"Guys, I'm okay. Everything is okay. I don't know why you're so worked up," I defend myself, brushing off any worries they might have.

"Okay, if everything's okay, then I guess everything is fine. But you know who wasn't fine? Your girlfriend, dude! She was crying and sick in the restroom and we had to comfort her! You could have at least answered me, Kenny, or her. Something! So either something is wrong with you, something we can help you with, or you're being an ass!"

"Kyle, calm down. If he doesn't want to tell us anything, it's fine," Kenny steps in as the mediator.

"But I'm your best friend, Stan. If something is wrong, I want to help, and I know Wendy would, too, and even Kenny. Hell, I'm sure Cartman will also somehow chip in in a small, unnoticeable way. And why the hell do you smell like that, dude? Did-" He sniffs harder, freezing when he realizes what the smell was. "Did you get _high?_ I thought you promised Wendy you would stop. You haven't done that shit in weeks. What the hell, Stan?"

"Not cool, Stan," Kenny intervenes once again, "You didn't call me and tell me you were using, I could have joined yo-" He glances at Kyle's baffled expression before changing his attitude. "I mean, that is- that is horrible of you."

"I can't even with you right now, Stan, I mean what the hell? You couldn't even so much as tell us or Wendy that you were fine? What happened in these 24 hours that you turn into an asswipe?" Kyle asks, causing me to question whether he's asking rhetorically or not.

"You know what?" I respond. "Maybe it's good she's mad at me. She deserves a real man, anyways. I can't give her that. Not anymore."

"Real ma- What the hell do you mean? You're as much a man as Kenny and I are, what are you on about?" Kyle's face relaxes from angry to concerned. "What happened last night?"

I open my mouth to answer when we're interrupted by a familiar yell. "What's up, assholes?" His face lights up when he notices me. "Stan the man, where have you been? You could have been my DJ assistant. Butters sucked at that."

"Nothing. I'm fine, I'm here. it's whatever. I gotta go," I prepare to leave when I'm stopped by Kenny.

"Look, I'm not gonna yell my guts out at you like Kyle over here is doing. But you gotta tell us what happened so we can help you. Don't let her slip away." He manages to convince me, so I stand by locker once again, looking down at my shoes to avoid eye contact with the three boys. "Now, what do you mean 'not a real man'?"

Tears form in my eye as I reminisce the memories of last night. "I just wanted to buy her some roses."

"What do you-" Kyle pauses thinking for a second before continuing. "Did your dad hit you again for having roses for Wendy? Oh, I'll beat his ass for you if that's what you need- or I'll have my dad do something, he told me he would do anything you need for help with your dad."

"Forget your dad, I'll come over and throw his ass in a river. I'll kick him square in the nuts," Cartman threatens.

"Usually I wouldn't agree with Cartman about violence, but right now, he's right," Kyle inputs.

"No, no. It's not my dad. I haven't seen my dad awake these past 24 hours," I sigh hopelessly, embarrassed to speak up. "Never mind."

"No, Stan. We're listening," Kenny reassures me.

"I was out in Denver trying to buy the roses and the earrings I wanted to get her. And I did, I did get them, but-" I pause, attempting to recollect myself when Kenny places a helpful hand on my shoulder to keep going. "I saw these three guys trying to pick my car open, and- I just wanted them to stop."

"So you got into a fight with these losers?" Cartman questions after a moment of silence.

"No, it was more than that." I sigh, frustrated that they weren't getting the message.

"They attacked you? What, did they throw punches, shove you around a lot, try to steal something? What?" Kyle continues interrogating.

"It was more than that, too."

Kyle stares at the ground, as if he was trying to understand the words I was saying, until he looks up with an expression of shock. "Stan, no."

"Yup."

The three of them stare at me, baffled. "What the hell? These guys need to be locked up or something, they're literal predators. Stan, are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Although this old man tried to convince me to go to the hospital, I don't know what the obsession was," I joke in an attempt to ease the tension between us.

"Because you could be seriously hurt! Stan, why didn't you tell us? We would have drove over to Denver and find them. I would have Cartman kick their asses in an instant!"

"Yeah!" Cartman agrees at the mention of his name.

"Because, Kyle- I didn't want you guys to see me as weak. I mean, Cartman would have single-handedly beat their asses, while Kenny would have ran away so fast to save his life, and Kyle, you- your lawyer dad would have already been called. I didn't do anything," I chuckle, not wanting to be seen any less than what they already see.

"Dude, you're not weak. You survived, and that's one of the best things anyone could do in this situation. You say I would have ran so fast? I don't know what I would have done. Don't put yourself down or hate yourself for something that is absolutely, in no shape or form, your fault," Kenny reassured.

"Thanks, Ken. I appreciate that," I thank with a smile. My smile withers away, however, when I notice Wendy and her friends by their lockers several lockers down. Wendy appears dejected, while her volleyball friends nonsensically babbled on about nothing. "I'm not sure _she'll_ feel the same way, though."

We all glance into her direction, causing her to look up in our direction. Kyle opposes, "Dude, I know Wendy'll understand if you just tell her. This girl has loved you since the third grade and nothing will ever change that. She even told us she didn't want us to bother you about why you didn't come because she didn't want you to be mad or anything. She'll understand."

"I doubt it. Trust me, she's still mad at me and she's going to continue to ignore me."

I glance back at Wendy, which she notices and quickly turns her straight face into a hopeful smile, bringing her hand up into a wave. "I beg to differ," Kyle points out, smiling as well at her reaction.

I want to smile back. I want to run up to her, and kiss her, and tell her I'm sorry a million times and the reasons why. But I can't, so I turn my head back to my locker and slam it shut, alarming the other guys. "I can't do this. Not right now. Guys, you have to promise this stays between us. Kyle, do not alert your dad about this. You don't need to tell him every detail about my life. Cartman, don't go off babbling like you usually do. Kenny, just keep it safe. And especially do not say a word to Wendy, okay? I mean it. Now, I have to go- for real this time. Thanks for being here for me, guys, though."

"No problem."

I walk away and went early to my first class, leaving my friends hanging with concerns and my girlfriend confused. I hate that I can't talk to her about this. I hate that I can't explain to her why I didn't show up to calm her nerves. I hate that she doesn't know what's going on with me. And I want to tell her everything and anything about what I'm feeling, but I wouldn't be able to stand it if she looked at me differently, or saw me as weird. Maybe I'm over thinking it, or maybe I'm making sense. Hopefully everything can go back to normal one day and I would have completely forgotten anything ever happened yesterday.

And hopefully she will never know.

**Author's Note:**

> So there you have it. I really hope you enjoyed both one-shots, and if you didn't(then I'll understand why), I would love some feedback. Thanks for reading, and the third and final one-shot is coming out soon.


End file.
